Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My Last Post

After meeting again with Greg Calhoun, I've decided not to do this blog anymore. Too many people are hurt by it. Even though they're mentally retarded and have AIDS, it's not fair for me to hold grudges against them for something I didn't like about them twenty years ago. People grow up, get married, have families, own homes; and most importantly--- become more mature than they were when you last saw them. Because of that, if somebody did something to me they don't remember, there's no reason for me to continue to harass them and post their addresses. Plus I don't want them to sue me.

If you're reading this

Then you're one of those people who's stupid and ugly and smells and nobody likes them, and that is a fact. You can even look it up. In fact, by looking at this, you've automatically waived any claims to privacy. We now have the right to make up anything we want about you and the very fact that we said it means you have absolutely no legal recourse whatsoever, and libel laws do not apply to you. So there.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Greg Calhoun

I met with him at his office and he asked me about how I told people he fucked a girl while taking a shit. I told him that was a long time ago and I didn't remember. You know what? I lied! Of course I remember it!!!!!!! It was only what I was always talking about! And he deserved it! I don't know what I just ate for lunch but remember everything about him being an asshole twenty years ago! He was such an abusive bully and he knew it. He took advantage of that fact constantly, and my story about him spread all over school. For some reason, he had to move three months before graduation. I don't know why, but if I had anything to do with it, it was worth it. We were all glad he wasn't around anymore. If there's one thing I did I'm still proud of, this is it. I only wish I did more. He's now a bank president. Probably miserable. Good for him.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Josh Gladstone

You'll never guess what Josh Gladstone is doing now.... He's a process server who just gave me a summons because apparently Howard Healy is now suing me for libel. It figures that's what he'd end up doing for a living since he was such a kiss-ass back in school! I remember in eighth grade when he turned me in for going out a door that was supposed to be entrance only. I wasn't even hurting anyone by doing this but he felt the need to tell the principal on me. Something about rules are rules or something like that. It only makes sense that he'd be making a living at being a toadie now. I guess I didn't recognize him at first from all the brown on his nose!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Howard Healy

I just ran into Howard Healy who's now the cashier at a gas station. It doesn't surprise me since he didn't know how to read. I don't mean like he couldn't interpret the meaning of a text. I mean he literally didn't recognize letters of the alphabet. Like if you were to show him the letter A he wouldn't know that's what it is and what sound it's supposed to represent. I went to college where there were people who didn't understand newspaper articles so he must be really dumb. He was one of those guys who when the teacher asked us to read in class and it was his turn he would stammer over the words like he didn't know what they said. Boy, was that annoying as fuck. He lives at 502 Lower Byrdclife Road but feel free to bother him at home at 555-3377. He has a wife and two kids now. I bet they're dicks like him. What an asshole.

Jim Novak

So I was at the drugstore waiting on line and the guy in front of me says "Hey, Chief, can't you read the sign? It says stand behind the tape! This is some private stuff going on here!" For the record, technically I was in front of the tape but wasn't paying any attention to him and wouldn't have remembered who was there if he hadn't said something. It pissed me off that he called me "Chief" so I said to him "I'm going to write about you on my blog! What do you think of that?!" I sure showed him. It turns out he was the father of someone I knew in high school that was later shot in the Gulf War. All I remember about his son is that he spit in a hat and made me wear it. His name is Frank Novak and his address is 375 Millstream Road. He has anal warts and now everyone knows. So ha ha on you, Frank Novak! I think I'll call you for the 37th time today like I've been doing all week and harass you! Let me know where he was buried so I can dig him up and pee in his mouth!

Howard Healy

I just ran into Howard Healy who's now the cashier at a gas station. It doesn't surprise me since he didn't know how to read. I don't mean like he couldn't interpret the meaning of a text. I mean he literally didn't recognize letters of the alphabet and what sounds they made. He was one of those guys who when the teacher asked us to read in class and it was his turn he would stammer over the words like he didn't know what they said. Boy, was that annoying. He lives at 502 Lower Byrdclife Road but you can bother him at home at 555-337. What an asshole.