Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Howard Healy

I just ran into Howard Healy who's now the cashier at a gas station. It doesn't surprise me since he didn't know how to read. I don't mean like he couldn't interpret the meaning of a text. I mean he literally didn't recognize letters of the alphabet. Like if you were to show him the letter A he wouldn't know that's what it is and what sound it's supposed to represent. I went to college where there were people who didn't understand newspaper articles so he must be really dumb. He was one of those guys who when the teacher asked us to read in class and it was his turn he would stammer over the words like he didn't know what they said. Boy, was that annoying as fuck. He lives at 502 Lower Byrdclife Road but feel free to bother him at home at 555-3377. He has a wife and two kids now. I bet they're dicks like him. What an asshole.

Jim Novak

So I was at the drugstore waiting on line and the guy in front of me says "Hey, Chief, can't you read the sign? It says stand behind the tape! This is some private stuff going on here!" For the record, technically I was in front of the tape but wasn't paying any attention to him and wouldn't have remembered who was there if he hadn't said something. It pissed me off that he called me "Chief" so I said to him "I'm going to write about you on my blog! What do you think of that?!" I sure showed him. It turns out he was the father of someone I knew in high school that was later shot in the Gulf War. All I remember about his son is that he spit in a hat and made me wear it. His name is Frank Novak and his address is 375 Millstream Road. He has anal warts and now everyone knows. So ha ha on you, Frank Novak! I think I'll call you for the 37th time today like I've been doing all week and harass you! Let me know where he was buried so I can dig him up and pee in his mouth!

Howard Healy

I just ran into Howard Healy who's now the cashier at a gas station. It doesn't surprise me since he didn't know how to read. I don't mean like he couldn't interpret the meaning of a text. I mean he literally didn't recognize letters of the alphabet and what sounds they made. He was one of those guys who when the teacher asked us to read in class and it was his turn he would stammer over the words like he didn't know what they said. Boy, was that annoying. He lives at 502 Lower Byrdclife Road but you can bother him at home at 555-337. What an asshole.

Jim Novak

So I was at the drugstore waiting on line and the guy in front of me says "Hey, Chief, can't you read the sign? It says stand behind the tape! This is stuff going on here!" For the record, technically I was in front of the tape but wasn't paying any attention to him and wouldn't have remembered who was there if he hadn't said something. It pissed me off that he called me "Chief" so I said to him "I'm going to write about you on my blog! What do you think of that?!" I sure showed him. It turns out he was the father of someone I knew in high school that was later shot in the Gulf War. All I remember about his son is that he spit in a hat and made me wear it. His name is Frank Novak and his address is 375 Millstream Road. He has anal warts and now everyone knows. So ha ha on you, Frank Novak! I think I'll call you for the 37th time today like I've been doing all week and tell you your son was a worthless thug and so are you! Let me know where he was buried so I can dig him up and pee in his mouth!